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“We are all living in cages with the door wide open.”
-George Lucas

When you’re losing weight, it is difficult, at times, to process all of the changes that are occurring. Sure, you can appreciate that the number on the scale is changing and descending, but for me it has been nearly impossible to see how much I’ve changed.

Logically, I know all of the facts, the numbers and the sizes. I have watched them go by at an amazing rate, and am now at both a weight and size that is about what I was in high school. I also know that I feel strong, and that I feel terrific, and I also have seen disease and illness slip away from both myself and Nick. But in a lot of ways, I don’t FEEL like I’ve lost weight. Why is that?

Before I began this process, this journey, I felt trapped, and like I could struggle and try all I wanted, but it was all to no avail. I couldn’t regain my health, I couldn’t lose a pound, I just plain couldn’t.

As a contrast, now I know that I have so many valuable tools, techniques, and resources at my disposal, and I actually think it would be difficult to fail! Of course it takes focus and discipline, but I know with certainty that I’ve got that part down, and it has become such an integral part of my lifestyle. If I didn’t have my exercise, I would feel like something is missing. When I’m not able to eat exactly how I like to now (good, clean, whole), I don’t feel good!

All this was available to me before, but I had to choose it and put myself in the place that was uncomfortable. And keep choosing it, and keep being uncomfortable. And now, I can’t allow myself to call it a day unless I’ve challenged myself, sweat a little, and push myself to do something, one thing that I didn’t think I could do.

I think that once I finish losing all of the weight, perhaps the realization of how far I’ve come might catch up to me, but my focus and my goals have changed completely. I am focused on achieving fitness-related goals, building muscles, and being strong… the weight will continue to fall away as a result of all the other things I’m doing. That, to me, speaks of how much I have changed. Instead of hiding away in my “cage,” I have chosen to step out into the unknown and discover my destiny.

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